Chronic pain Hob is something i hold dear, inspired by @softest-punk chronic Hob fics
Enjoy
The walk to the park wasn’t long, even less when he had company. Hob glanced at his cosmic entity boyfriend, despite his stoic demeanor, there was a light in his blue eyes, a light that only Hob was allowed to see.
Feeding the birds had become one of their favourite past times, walking hand in hand to sit in what Hob affectionately called ‘Dream’s brooding bench.’
The words had been met with his iconic pout, yet he still gripped his hand. The image of Dream feeding the birds like the softie he was, it filled Hob with a warm feeling he hadn’t felt in centuries. It didn’t matter how many loaves he had to buy, he would purchase every bakery in the country just to see Dream smile.
But today was different.
He should have known when he awoke to a familiar ache, radiating from his knee. Despite his history with said knee, he pushed it to the back of his mind. Him and Dream had a day planned, and he would be damed if he’d let a little ache stop him.
He hid his limp, especially when he saw Dream waiting for him, out the New Inn. He was dressed in his usual black attire, hands shoved into his coat pockets. But those beautiful, blue eyes sparkled like the night sky when he spotted Hob. He pulled out a pale, thin hand and reached out to him, beckoning him closer. The sight alone was enough for Hob to forget about his pain, and everything else around him.
'Hello, duck,’ he grabbed Dream’s hand, smiling when he squeezed back. For this, he could ignore a little knee pain, just for a few hours. He’s managed for a lot longer.
Hob was doing pretty well, they fell into their usual habit, Hob talking, Dream listening. Every so often, he glances at Dream’s face, admiring his profile, his pale skin, perfect, rosebud mouth and those cheekbones. Hob isn’t ashamed to admit that he stumbled a few times. Because of this, the pain returned with a vengeance. A particular spasm made him wince. He leaned on his other leg, trying to relieve his bad led in any way possible.
He must not have done a good job of hiding, a deep voice broke through his haze,
'Hob, are you alright?’
Hob blinked, forcing his face into a more neutral expression,
'Course I am, love, why do you ask?’
'You have been limping for the past few minutes, and you hissed, as if in pain.’
Hob mentally swore,
'I’m fine, just woke up with a stiff knee is all.’
Dream did not look convinced.
'A stiff knee?’ A dark eyebrow quirked up, disappearing under a strand of black hair,
'A stiff knee would not have you squeezing my hand to such an extent.’
Confused, Hob looked down at their joined hands, he was clutching Dream’s hand so tight that his knuckles looked ready to burst from his skin. Hob gasped, yanking his hand away. Along Dream’s palm, he saw, with horror, the half moon imprints of his fingernails.
'Oh, Dream!’ Hob started, sick with guilt, 'I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.’
Dream said nothing, he just watched as Hob took his palm and gently rubbed at the marks.
'Forgive me, I didn’t know,’ his heart was racing and in his panic, his knee pain returned full force.
Dream gently removed his hand from Hob’s grasp and placed it on his shoulder,
'Be honest, are you in pain?’
Hob gazed into those eyes, another lie ready on his tongue. He swallowed.
’…yes.’
Immediately, Dream’s expression changed, his eyebrows knitting together in concern,
'What happened?’ Anger flashed in his eyes, 'Who hurt you?’
Hob shook his head, 'No one, love, well, no one living at least.’
He couldn’t help but smile at his lover’s head tilt,
'It’s just a flare up from an old war wound, don’t ask me which one, they all sort of blurred together.
'Why did you not tell me?’
Hob rubbed the back of his neck,
'I didn’t want to cancel our day,’ he quietly admitted, Dream heard it clearly, and in an instant, his eyes shimmered.
'Don’t worry, I’ll be fine, we’ll be sitting down in a minute,’ he grabbed Dream’s hand again, making sure to be gentle,
'Come on, we don’t want to keep the birds waiting.’
As he turned to cross the street, he found himself colliding with his bedroom wall. Through bleary eyes, he caught sight of sand disappearing into thin air.
'Ow,’ he rubbed his nose, luckily, his bad knee was safe, still aching, but safe.
'Apologies,’ Dream gently turned him, ’I did not expect you to walk away.’
Still a little dazed, Hob merely said, 'It’s alright, duck,’ he tried to walk out of the door,
'But we better head to the park before it gets dark.’
It took just one step for Hob’s knee to give up, it buckled and Hob fell. He would’ve landed on his hardwood floor had it not been for Dream’s quick reflexes. Hob swore, aloud this time, he looked up into Dream’s face, embarrassed at the worry visible there.
'I’ll be alright in a minute, I just need to-,’
Hob suddenly felt weightless. Did he just die? Was this his soul leaving his body?
No, it was Dream, holding him bridal style. Hob blushed deeply,
'Dream!’
The Dream king did not listen, carrying him effortlessly despite Hob being the bigger of the two. His protests were ignored as he was put to bed,
'Dream, really, this isn’t necessary.’
With a sudden pinch of sand, his skin felt chilled.
His clothes were gone. Hob couldn’t help letting out an undignified yelp, pulling the blankets around him.
'Be calm, Hob Gadling, it is not anything I haven’t seen before.’
Hob shit him a glare, even at the tiny smirk on his lover’s face. With another pinch, he was fully dressed, this time in his comfiest pyjamas.
'Be at ease, I shall return momentarily,’ with a swish of his coat, he was gone. Hob made to follow but his knee protested, loudly. He gritted his teeth to stop him from crying out, now that he wasn’t moving, he could feel every stab of pain shooting up his leg. He pulled up his pyjama leg, carefully, the cool air did nothing to ease the heat radiating from his swollen knee. The long, ugly scar standing out even more from his tanned skin. He didn’t dare touch it.
Dream reappeared without a sound, holding a mug of hot tea and some painkillers. Resigned to his fate, Hob silently accepted the tea and downed two tablets, dry.
'You don’t have to stay with me,’ Hob grimaced, 'You can go onto the park if you want.’
Dream looked offended,
'Why would I leave you here to suffer alone?’
Without another word, he placed his hands on Hob’s knee. He tensed, then found himself melting into his touch. Dream’s hands warmed until they rivalled his hot water bottle. The relief almost brought tears to his eyes.
'You will answer me honestly,’ Dream started, his voice deeper, 'Why did you not inform me of your pain?’
Hob was quiet at first, just sipped his tea, but, whether it was from Dream’s penetrating gaze or his magic hands, Hob found himself spilling his guts.
'This was our first day off in weeks, I didn’t want to cancel on you, just because of a bum knee,’ sadness washed over him,
'I’m sorry for disappointing you.’
The heat suddenly disappeared, Hob looked up to see Dream staring at him,
'You are correct, Hob Gadling, I am disappointed.’
Hob bowed his head, only looking up when a cold finger touched his chin, he forced himself to look up again, meeting star filled eyes.
'I am disappointed because my lover thought I would rather have him suffer in silence than tell me of his pain,’
'But our day-’
'There will be plenty of opportunities to feed the birds, but there is only one Hob Gadling.’
He gently cupped Hob’s face,
'I need you to be happy and healthy, I don’t ever want you to hide your pain from me, I want you to tell me so I can help. You always tell me I am good at listening, so, why do you not take advantage?’
He ended with a cold kiss to Hob’s forehead,
'Please, let me help.’ The words were quiet, it could have been his imagination but he knew Dream’s voice. Hob looked up, into Dream’s face, too choked up to speak, he merely nodded.
Satisfied, Dream changed into his own sleepwear, stolen from Hob, and lay down next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. He pressed his long legs against Hob, easing his knee with warmth once again.
'Rest, Hob, the birds will still be there tomorrow,’ and with that, Dream snuggled in closer. It might have been the medicine, his bed or his lover’s influence, he felt his eyes grow heavy. He placed his mug on the bedside table and buried his face in Dream’s messy hair,
'Thank you,’ he mumbled, sleep pulling him under. The last thing he saw was those blue eyes, gazing at him lovingly, those two stars followed him into the Dreaming
********
'This isn’t really what I was picturing,’ Hob admitted, peering through a haze of what Dream called “the orbs”. The pair were sitting in Fiddler’s Green, the grass as soft as clouds and the sun as warm as Dream’s hands were, surrounded by the Dreaming’s entire winged population.
Dream looked up, scratching the chin of a tiny, purring gargoyle,
'What do you mean?’
'Well,’ Hob had to choose his words carefully, wary of the eyes on him,
'I was sort of picturing real birds,’ he whispered.
Dream smiled, ’It matters not, they are winged creatures,’ the gargoyle snatched a crust from the Dream King’s hand, nibbling it like a hamster.
'What about me?’ Matthew cawed, perched on Dream’s shoulder,
'Sorry, Matthew, I don’t know if you count,’
'And you do not like bread,’
Matthew ruffles his feathers, 'It would be nice to be offered.’
M! I really love the way you pick colours! they look so pleasing and soft, do you have any tips and recommendations on how to pick good colours? Pretty please?🥺🙏🏻❤️
Aww Thanks for your ask!! ššIāve already been asked a lot questions like this before(sorry for those questions!) but I donāt have free time to answer them, now I have enough time to explain it, so I made these.
ā ļøBUT REMEMBER, THESE ARE JUST MY TIPS, NOT THE PROFESSIONAL KNOWLEDGE, IāM JUST A LITTLE ART STUDENT, IāM STILL LEARNING TOOā ļø
Please donāt mind if there is something wrong with my english
Itās very hard to explain it in only four pages, itās more like..something very professionalš¤(also my english is bad), maybe I will make more tomorrow
shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over.
put on clean, comfortable clothes.
put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink.
blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.
make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.
Circulating. Seasonal depression is creeping around now.
When you feel like hell, being told “but one day you won’t!” can often come across as dismissive, trite, and disingenuous. Like, yeah, one day, but not this day.
So if that’s where you are right now, smack dab in the middle of The Bad Times, it’s ok that the promise of a better future isn’t enough to make you feel better in the present.
Yeah, you’ll get there one day, but in the meantime; know that you are intrinsically worthy of kindness and love, even when you’re angry and hurt and not ok 💖
i never see enough tips for trans women/transfem people so. here’s a video that came up about tucking :] (don’t worry she doesn’t use tape at all despite the thumbnail)
TRANSCRIPT:
*rips tape*
“How to tuck for trans Male to Female, or if you’re just really curious.
First, take that fancy-dancy duct tape, that electrical tape, that athletic tape and…
*throws it into a bin with an audible thud*
throw that shit in the trash!
It kinda works, but for the most part it frickin’ hurts, you gotta shave all the time and it’s really bad for your skin.
Instead, go to Walmart, get yourself a pair of high-waisted tights, and a pair of dr scholl’s travel compression socks.
*tears packet for high-waisted tights*
Cut the waistband out of your tights, like so.
*tears sock pack with teeth*
You’re gonna take your socks, and cut to right about… here. Then you get this cool little cuff.
Feed waistband into said cuff.
Step into each loop of the cuff. Your thingy should lay nicely in the cuff. Pull up, put on a pair of cute panties and some shorts, and it’s like you never even had a penis!
thank you so much for a transcript it completely slipped my mind :]
Here’s to all my trans women followers! Please be safe! 💖💖💖
